"Isn't She Entitled to..."

I was sitting in my office one day typing a letter when my paralegal Leona came in with a question. She was proofreading a separation agreement I had just drafted and couldn't believe our client's wife was planning to sign it. No alimony; no car; very little personal property; no share of her husband's retirement; plus a sweetheart deal on joint custody. She would be signing away just about every marital right she had! Leona asked me a perfectly reasonable question: "Isn't she entitled to something more?"

The answer to this question is a matter of perspective. For instance, did I mention the wife had just been caught cheating on her husband? Legally, this only means the wife is barred from claiming alimony. She can still get half the marital property, including half the equity in the house, half of my client's retirement, half of the household furnishings, her car, etc. And, unless her adultery directly affected her son, the affair should not prejudice her standing for custody.

I think what Leona was really asking me was, "Aren't we taking advantage of her guilt over her affair to get our client things he couldn't get in court?" The answer? Heck yes!

I'm being tongue-in-cheek here, but in fact this is a tricky case that must be handled delicately to protect my client. I represent my client's interests, and my client's interests alone, so ethically I have no problems drafting a separation agreement like the one Leona asked about. However, if you find yourself in my client's situation (betrayed by your spouse), there are some significant risks to pushing for a totally one-sided agreement like the one I drafted.

Just how much is your cheating spouse's cooperative demeanor owing to his or her guilt, and how much are they just trying to make a graceful exit so they go off to pursue their new romantic interests? Not a fun question to ponder, I know, but it makes a real difference when assessing how likely your spouse is to seek her own legal advise. In the case above, if my client's wife had taken the time to have her own attorney review the agreement, she would know my client was making demands for things he couldn't win in court. If she then refused to sign, that's anywhere from $1000-1500 my client just flushed down the drain. Now, he has to start all over again with a new, bigger fee to have me gear up for a prolonged court fight.

I make sure my clients understand the risks in a case like this up front. Sometimes, it leads the client to take a more even-handed approach. Other times, the client decides to take a calculated risk and push forward with a heavy-handed bargaining posture. There is no right or wrong answer here. Just remember, if you find yourself in this situation, you are probably acting under just a much emotional stress, if not more, than your spouse. Remember to take a step back to look at how the terms of your proposed settlement are likely to affect you, your spouse, and your children over the long term. As long as you can do that, I'll be in your corner all the way, whatever you decide.