So, like, how long is this gonna take? -OR- Merry Christmas to ALL!

Christmas time... is the right time... to talk about... well... time.

You're standing in line with an armful of gifts. You have three other stores to get to before going home for dinner. You left work early and yet somehow a chorus of morons on the roadway and in the store aisles has stolen back every second you carved out for yourself to get your shopping done. Your head is now splitting and the last bit of sanity you had in reserve to get your through New Years Eve is oozing out.

You want, really want, to achieve that laid-back mental attitude you get (or used to get) on Christmas morning when all you do is open presents and go eat fattening meals with family and friends. Unfortunately, the debilitating duties of adulthood seem to leave less and less time for you to enjoy that feeling each year.

Christmas, while wonderful in many ways, creates this unique brand of frustration - you know there's happiness out there to be felt but the only way to get it is by trudging through a gauntlet of repetitive, unpleasant, soul-sucking tasks.

Now, imagine a disease that afflicts you with this same sense of restless anxiety 24/7, only you don't even get the assurance of a pre-determined end point like December 25th. That, ladies and gentleman, is divorce.

When new clients ask me for a timeline for their case, I always give them a generic outline of the ligitation process:

1. It will take me a few weeks to prepare the Complaint to start the case, or the Answer if the client has already been served.
2. The opposing party will have 30 days to file a response, which can be extended to 60 days by filing a request with the clerk of court.
3. After that, depending on the facts of the case, a hearing date may be set for certain specific issues, or the parties may engage in discovery to obtain necessary information from each other. Either option can take several months to achieve the desired results.
4. Most cases involve temporary hearings within the first few months if they don't settle, and then leave the possibility for more permanent hearings at a later date, but again this interval can be a few months or more than a year depending on the case.
5. Ultimately, most cases wind up in mediation, and if you are lucky both parties will act reasonably and the case will settle out of court. Sometimes, though, you have to kick a little butt to make things work, so you have hearings, THEN mediation. Other times you just have to let a judge decide the whole thing.

Notice how my "outline" doesn't contain any specific numbers past item no. 2? That's not accidental. Every case is unique and there are so many variables that it's hard to be specific after the first 2 or 3 months of the case.

You might think I'm trying to dissuade you from fighting hard for what you're entitled to in your divorce. Not at all. The purpose of this post is to make you a more effective advocate for your rights by arming with you with information. I find that clients often have stronger will than I give them credit for, and they are better at exercising that will power if they know what they are getting into up front. It's the people who let themselves think everyting will be wrapped up in a neat little bow (like a Christmas present :-) in a week or two that end up hating life.

My well-informed clients either settle and appreciate all the time/energy/money they have saved, or they fight to the end satisfied that they've done the right thing. Just like standing in that ubiquitous check-out line every Christmas - survival is all about achieving the right mental attitude. Merry Christmas everyone, and have a GREAT New Year!
-Ron (aka the GDC)