Divorce? In THIS market?!?

First, an apology to my loyal readers for not posting in over two months!  My wife and I are expecting our second child in just a few weeks.  For reasons that make better bar stool conversation than blogging, we decided to mark the occasion of her pregnancy by buying a brand new house.  If you've never built a new house before, I highly recommend that you pour yourself a cocktail to congratulate yourself on your preternatural wisdom!

Now that I've had a few days to reflect on the experience, I feel a new appreciation for the "marital residence" and the role it plays in my domestic cases.  Today seems like an opportune moment to share some thoughts on the subject with you.

After the house bubble crashed, I noticed that I was having the same conversation over and over again in my new client consultations.  The basic narrative went like this: "I really want to get out of this situation, but our house has lost sooo much value.  I just can't think of how we'll get out from under it.  Oh well, thanks for your advise, Ronnie.  I'm going to ride it out a while longer until the market comes back, so that we can sell the house and make our property split easier."

They lasted about six month on average, then like seasonal locusts they all came swarming back at about that same time with a new narrative:  "No. No. No... I was wrong.  I admit it.  No human being can tolerate this! Get me the hell out of here!!!"

In the good old days, your average, middle class divorcing couple had a house with some equity and some accumulated retirement, usually in a 401k - two ready sources of equity that could be liquidated to generate a fair property split and smooth the rough edges of a well-negotiated deal.  Even today as the market recovers, a significantly higher percentage of my clients have little or no equity in the marital home.  What's worse, some of them come to me having tapped their retirement to save the house, only to split and often be forced to sell the house without recouping those funds.

The net result of this is that domestic litigants are being forced to cooperate for longer periods and in greater depth than ever before, usually to maintain and sell their house as a part of an overall settlement.  Why is this problematic?  Well, because either (1) both parties keep living in the house (read: "911, what is your emergency?"); or (2) one party ends up living elsewhere and is totally reliant on the spouse with possession to maintain the house and everything in it.  Even for people who like and trust each other this is tough.  Feuding spouses typically share neither great affection or trust.

So, constant readers, today's take-away lesson is simple - if you are considering divorce PLEASE come see me before you move out.  There are responsible ways to get free of a demoralizing situation, and if you are armed with complete information you are infinitely more likely to make the right call.  Now, if you'll excuse me I'm off to Lowe's.  My darling wife has closet needs...