Give them an inch...

Did you know that grandparents have standing to seek custody of their grandchildren in North Carolina? It's true, but only in certain situations. Biological and adoptive parents have a constitutional right to parent their children that supersedes everyone else on the planet, so for the most part if you don't want your child to see Grandma, your word is law.

But... there are exceptions to every rule. The two most common exceptions to parents' protected status are (1) when the parent (or parents) with custody are shown to be unfit parents or at least to have acted inconsistent with their constitutionally protected status; and (2) when grandparents seek to intervene in an ongoing custody dispute between parents.

The important thing to remember if you find yourself in a custody litigation involving grandparents is that if the court grants them specific visitation rights, the grandparents will have a seat at the custody table from that moment forward until your child reaches age 18.

I recently had to research this issue in a case where the maternal grandparents were granted visitation in a court order. The child's mother then passed away unexpectedly leaving the father with sole custody, except for the grandparents court-ordered visitation. I was surprised to learn that the law makes no ongoing distinction between the father and the grandparents when reviewing the original order. Anyone who has been granted visitation rights has standing to seek a modification of custody if they can show a substantial change of circumstances has occured affecting the child.

Before your freak out, let me say the father in my example still had his constitutionally protected status against the grandparents. So, while they can request modification, the law appears to restrict the Court from granting the grandparents more than "reasonable visitation." This would mean legal custody (i.e. decisionmaking authority) rests solely with parent in this situation, but I'm troubled by the fact that the appellate courts in NC have put no explicit limitation on what visitation the grandparents can have. Presumably, they could be awarded anything less than 50% physical custody and that could arguably be called "visitation."